Blog444

Background: John, Eren and I were confirming plans to go to a movie.

2008 Toyota Corolla LE

Eren and I both own 2008 Toyota Corollas. In January 2010, Toyota was dealing with accelerator pedal issues with a few models, including Corollas. 2008 Corollas are not effected by the recall - but that didn’t stop John’s comments; … leading to the following email interaction:

On Jan 28, 2010, at 8:14 AM, John writes:

If your Toyotas don’t kill you today…
‘INVICTUS’ is @ The Cinema @ 7:00 pm

On Jan 28, 2010, at 8:34 AM, Tim writes:

AAAAAAhgggggAAAAAAAHHHHHhhhh!!!!!
WHOA, CAMEL!!!

OK with me. At 6:30PM I will be at, near or driving VERY fast past John’s house.
YeHaaaaaa!

I was at a wedding last summer which was also attended by the Hart family; Eren, Lori, Jeff, Emma and Nathan. Lori took out her camera to capture the moment. Instead of the usual, “Everyone smile”, picture, I suggested that we all should look defiant.

Here is the result which the Hart’s have dubbed the, “Don’t give me that!”, picture.

I think I especially like Nathan’s karate pose.

Picture from Mandy's wedding

(Click on picture to view larger image)

I heard this on one of my podcasts; A bark activated cell phone for your dog.

Now your dog can call you - literally. The Bio-sence Technologies (http://bio-sense.com/prod.htm) people created a device that interprets the pitch and timbre of a dog’s bark and can determine if the dog is stressed or threatened.

The special collar has integrated cell phone technology and sound activation software. When the dog barks in a threatened pitch, the collar will call - actually call via cell phone - the owner.

“Hello?”

“Bark! Bark!”

“Hi Lassie. What’s that girl?”

“Bark! Bark! Bark!”

“Timmy fell down the well - again!? OK, we’ll send the Fire Department.”

“Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!”

“Yeah, that’s the third time he fell in the well this year.”

“Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!”

“Yep, even by human standards, that qualifies Timmy as and idiot. Thanks for calling.”

I hurt my back, so for the past couple of days pain has been my constant companion. With a very sore back, it is interesting how simple tasks, like putting on socks, becomes a challenge!

The other thing that happens is dropped items often die. When I drop something, instead of immediately bending down to pick it up, I am likely to let the dropped object rest in peace because, “It’s in a better place now”.

It’s all perspective and perspective changes abruptly when pain is rolled into the equation.

I love being outdoors and I really like the cool homes and future plans my friends have:

* Eren lives on 5 acres of land in the woods bordering a local park.

* Steve is building a house in the woods on 40 acres south of Rochester.

* Chris bought a house in the woods on 12 acres south of Buffalo.

* John is talking about moving to the Rocky Mountains when he retires.

Timber Frame House

I was at dinner with Eren and John the other day. They are aware that I am dating Emily. I told them that when I relayed my fondness for the interesting homes and future plans my friends have to Emily, she asked:

“Are all of your friends una-bomber wannabe’s?

On hearing this, Eren looked over at me and in a calm, even voice asked:

“What is Emily’s address?”

The secret to happiness is surprisingly simple. If you expect nothing, you will be happy to get anything. The less you expect, the happier you will be. Therefore:

The secret to happiness is lowered expectations.

If you have not read past entries in this Blog, you may want to go to the 2007 Wedding/Christmas Card entry to read the background on the Boomerang Wedding/Christmas Card.

In December 2008 I had in my possession the boomerang wedding card as well as the 2007 family picture I received of Kevin, Kim, Piper and Tristan.

(Click to enlarge picture)

2007 Card

Sending a family photo for Christmas is quite popular as I have seen many of them throughout the years. So, I decided that this year’s Christmas offering from Webster would be a family photo … sort of. 

Ya’ see, while there are several inhabitants here, apparently we don’t actually qualify in the strict definition of “family”. I know this because after submitting veterinary bills to my Health Care provider, I was informed, in no uncertain terms, that 4 footed furry creatures aren’t considered “family” and therefore are not covered under a family health care plan.

However, for this Family Christmas Picture discussion, my cats, Samantha and Lazer, will qualify as family and will be assigned the role of “Kids”.

Another small point is that in the 2007 Holiday picture I received from Kevin, positions for Dad and Mom were assigned. At the Bayer homestead, I could probably pass for the part described as “Dad”, but presently there is an opening for the part of “Mom”. In the past I have interviewed a few candidates but despite my best efforts, and the threat of a restraining order, the position has thus far remained unfilled.

Undeterred, I decided to press on. It’s Christmas, dammit! And I would produce and send a handsome, family Christmas Picture - even if I had to improvise a little.  

First step was to get pictures of the “Kids”. Here is the picture I snapped of Samantha.

Samantha

Here is the photo of Lazer.

Lazer

I set up the camera using the timer feature and snapped a shot of me.

Self Photo

And for the role of “Mom” I found a picture of Miss Hottie.

Picture from the web

In the original picture, Miss Hottie was scantly clad. There were some other pictures in which Miss Hottie is naked but … um, … in an artistic way. I, of course, appreciate fine art so I reviewed all the pictures - several times - before making a selection. Then I had to review them again to be sure I had selected the best picture for this family-friendly application. Yep, I love art! OK, enough of that. Time to get back on task.

Now that I had 4 pictures, I had to adjust the sizes so that they were proportionally correct when combined onto one background. I did some measuring and determined that 22 mm was approximately the proper width for each face. A little Photoshop work allowed me to resize each face image to meet the 22 mm width requirement.

To be consistent with the whole frugal premise, the best application is to reuse materials. In this case, reusing a family photo was the obvious choice for the 2008 Bayer Family Christmas picture. 

I printed the resized pictures and then very carefully cut out the background, producing cut outs of only the faces. I printed a name list and cut that out. I added some double adhesive tape to each cut out and affixed them to the background. Poof! A wonderful, handsome Christmas family photo! 

(Click to enlarge picture)

2008 Bayer Christmas Card

When the 2008 Boomerang Wedding/Christmas Card was sent to Kevin, it included a family picture sure to spread good tidings of great joy from Tim, Hottie, Lazer and Samantha.

Merry Christmas!

There is a TV show called “Dancing With the Stars”. The participants on this show meet their partner in advance, then practice for weeks before their performance. I’ve got a better story than that. I was dancing with a woodchuck.

I had not previously met the animal before the dance. There was no practice before the performance. The difficulty factor was increased because we were not dancing in a safe, climate controlled, wood floor studio. It was in the middle of the lane on the Rt. 490 expressway with traffic whizzing by at nearly 70 MPH.

It happened on my way to work this morning.

I was driving in the right lane on Rt. 490 near Bushnell’s Basin when I saw something odd in the road a half mile ahead of me. Something was moving back and forth in the middle of the lane.

As I approached, I could see that it was an animal moving in circles. What was odd was that half of its body appeared to be red and white. As I got closer I saw that it was a juvenile woodchuck. The reason it had a red and white appearance and was walking in circles was that it had a Coca-Cola paper cup stuck on its head.

It was not possible for me to just drive past and let the animal get blasted by a car behind me. With no hesitation, I pulled into the left lane then, after passing the woodchuck, pulled off on the shoulder on the right side of the road. Now I had to get back to the animal before someone behind me whacked it. I quickly stopped then backed up on the shoulder to within 10 feet of the the constantly circling, young woodchuck.

When I left my car, I reached for my cell phone as I thought I would take a picture of the situation. Did I mention that this was on the expressway and that cars were barreling at me at 70 miles per hour? Nope - this was definitely not going to be a photo op. As you are probably aware, statistics show that using a cell phone on the expressway is dangerous. I decided it was best to abandon the photography idea to maintain my focus and thereby limit the number of stupid things I would do on an expressway this morning to just a woodchuck rescue.

As I approached the animal, there was a car coming in the right lane about a quarter of a mile away. I stood on the white line on the roadway shoulder near the circling woodchuck and the driver changed to the left lane to avoid us both.

Here is the scene: It’s 9:00 AM on the Rt. 490 expressway. A juvenile woodchuck has a Coca-Cola paper cup stuck on its head and is near the middle of the right lane walking backwards in circles. I am between the woodchuck and the left lane where cars are zipping past my back.

I am paying attention to the traffic so that I don’t end up listed in tomorrows paper as the, “Stupid Webster Man Killed On Rt. 490“, and at the same time, keeping the woodchuck in front of me so it doesn’t get into the passing lane. The best outcome I could envision is that tomorrow both me and the little woodchuck will still be relatively anonymous, and alive, giving each of us the opportunity to do stupid things on another day.

I’m standing in the lane first eying traffic, then the woodchuck, with the obvious play being to pull the paper cup off of the head of the small, constantly circling animal. The plan is that after I remove the cup, the woodchuck will see me and zip off the expressway away from me and into the safety of the weeds.

That was the plan. Notice that there is no mention of dancing in the plan.

I reach down and pull off the cup. Instead of turning and running from me, as was my perfect plan, the woodchuck staggers one step to the left. I immediately match the move to keep the critter from going into the passing lane and sure death. The animal sees my feet in front of it and stops. Then the little critter looks up at me and leans to its left side. It’s dizzy! Dizzy from all the backward circling! The woodchuck is looking at me, leaning to one side so dizzy that it can’t walk!

Perfect. Dancing on the expressway with a dizzy woodchuck was definitely NOT part of the plan.

The woodchuck, ten inches from my feet, stagers a bit to the right. I immediately follow the lead and head it off at the pass.

The difficulty factor of the dance is still in play as there are cars zipping behind me. I keep looking from the woodchuck to the oncoming traffic to make sure no one is in our dancing lane, and the cars will pass safely behind me.

The dancing continues as the woodchuck moves to the left and I cut it off again. This time though, it moved a little away from me and towards the edge of the road. I closed the gap and we again square off.

It was only about 30 seconds of total elapsed time to this point but, on the active expressway, it seemed like an eternity.

The woodchuck didn’t stagger quite so much this last move – the dizziness was wearing off.

Another move to one side by my dancing partner and I follow the lead. I cut it off, close the gap, and it again retreats - this time to the shoulder side of the white line on the edge of the road. We’re making some progress.

I was now about 3 feet from the animal which is staring at me intently. After a few seconds more, it turned to the left and started moving again. This time the woodchuck was more sure footed. It started walking, then bounding a bit. As it moved, I mirrored its movement, occasionally closing inside the 3 foot gap, herding the woodchuck off the pavement and into the weeds.

The animal was safe, and I was still warped enough to think it was a good thing to have danced on the expressway with a dizzy woodchuck.

For my departure from Las Vegas, I had pre-packed the night before so that I could seamlessly depart in the morning. I found out, that on this day, I was a horrible seamstress.

I grab the suitcase check out at the front desk, then walk to the parking garage to the rental car parked on level 4. D’Oh! I cannot find the car. It was a couple of days since I parked the car and every silver car looks the same as my rental car. I have to resort to walking down each isle pressing the key remote until, finally, one car flashes its lights. One small time delay is no big deal, so it would seem.

I head to the airport to drop off the car to catch the flight back home with roughly 2 hours for the task. It turns out the rental drop off is not at McCarrin airport as I thought, it is off site. The quest for a seamless, time-effective Vegas departure is starting to unravel a bit with this second time consuming set back.

I drive to the off-site return, drop off the car, and catch the shuttle back to the airport. It takes a bunch of time. The check in time for domestic flights is usually 30 minutes before departure; which is what it is at Rochester, NY. It is getting close, but there is still over 50 minutes before departure. I get in line and wait a bit and then I get to the United Airlines check-in counter 45 minutes before plane departure. I am told that I got bumped off the flight because I had not checked in 45 minutes before the flight. “I am standing right here and the flight does not leave for 45 minutes.”

“No. It is less than 45 minutes.”

Bam! Bumped because I showed up, literally, less than a minute late – seconds in fact. Las Vegas, McCarrin airport (as with several other airports - check it on line) has special rules - 45 minutes, not 30 minutes and it is not negotiable. I was told to go to gate D35 for the next flight. I am relatively inexperienced at the flying rules, so I go though security and make it to gate D35 and ask for a seat assignment on the next flight.

“No.”

“Excuse me? … No?”

“No. You are a stand by passenger. You have to wait until a seat is available.”

I was not transferred to the next Chicago flight as I had thought. The poor time effective execution of morning tasks which produced the, “40 seconds late” infraction put me on stand by. No seat was available on that flight. No seat was available on the flight that departed 1.5 hours later, either. Stranded in McCarrin Airport.

Here is the standby rule for United:

As the United Airline stand by rules apply to me, I am on stand by until a flight to Chicago is under booked. All flights on this day are booked. The first flight with space is tomorrow, Monday 6:25am. If I pay $150.00 to change my flight and book myself on the flight tomorrow, I can get on that plane. If I don’t pay $150.00, then I am still on stand by and I could miss that flight if it gets fully booked (as every flight was today). When I asked them to please return my money, they deny it, because I purchased a discount fair – no refunds. All you that fly more than me saw that coming, didn’t you?

I asked the counter person, ”How many people are in front of me on stand by?”. I was told that I could not get an answer as the number (position) in line is not a fixed number. As I found out, stand by does not mean being booked on the next open seat, it means I only get a seat when the plane is on the tarmac, about to leave and there is an unclaimed seat. Further, United Airlines Stand By is not a normal first in first out queue. It is a weighted, priority queue. If a United Airline Frequent Flier Member shows up for stand by, they go ahead of non members. If you are a United FF member, and a FF member with more points shows up on stand by, they go to the front. If todays Letter Of The Day is G and George shows up, George goes to the front of the line.

Under those conditions, it is obvious that I could be here for a VERY long time. Literally, according to the United stand by rules, if every flight is booked consecutively, OR a higher priority member arrives to bump me down the queue, or George shows up, I would NEVER get on a flight. Then, if I do get a flight to Chicago, I will be on stand by on my connecting flight to Rochester. Again, it is possible, according to the United stand by rules, that I would NEVER get on a flight if every flight is booked and filled at the time of departure, or George suddenly wants to got to Rochester, just for the amusement derived from bumping me again. The only way out is to pay $150.00 to change my ticket and book myself on a new flight. I payed the $150.00 to change my ticket. 

All this because this morning I was a horrible time managing seamstress who lost the car, whiffed on the off-site airport rental car drop off and, as a result, showed up 40 seconds too late at the United window.

Important Note: 40 seconds too late at the airport can cost you $150.00, 24 hours of your life … and counting.

I desperately needed to vent my aggression at those responsible for this airline mess. Instead of misplacing my aggression in an angry exchange with the nearest United Ticket agent, I identified the correct individual, angrily stomped up to the knucklehead in the mirror and described exactly how I felt about his miscalculations and oversights. In a rather unusual turn of events, it was oddly relieving to simultaneously vent and take responsibility for my own actions.

I am constantly evaluating and reviewing the things I do in life in an effort to learn from my experiences and to make better decisions in the future. It is an engineer thing; I have always done it. After reliving and evaluating the past 37 consecutive hours of being awake, here are my take aways from this airline travel experience:

1) Be VERY early: The security hassles take a tremendous amount of time. It ALWAYS takes longer than you think. Get to the airport very early. It is indescribably better to be waiting around at the gate with the opportunity to be bored before your flight leaves, than it is to be ticked off for hours, stuck overnight in an airport bitching about 40 seconds of a missed opportunity.

2) Look at the BOARDING TIME on the airline ticket, NOT the departure time. The boarding time is your drop dead target.

3) Check and double check the departure information on the airline display panels to be positive you are standing at the proper gate at the proper time. In O’Hare, the departing gate number and departure times often change - and it can change repeatedly. If you are standing at the wrong gate you will miss your flight. if in doubt, ask a gate agent. 

On Friday and Saturday, I took full advantage of the standing TAM 6, “walk up and say hi” mantra. I met and talked to the folks that create one of my favorite podcasts: The Skeptics Guide To The Universe; Steve Novella, Jay Novella, Evan Bernstein, Bob Novella and Rebecca Watson. I also got to meet Brian Dunning who creates another favorite of mine, the Skeptoid.com podcast.

I briefly talked to Richard Wiseman

 

… as well as Adam Savage (Mythbusters).

 

Even though all these people were in great demand, they all found time to chat. Exceedingly difficult to do when there are lots of demands on your time, but somehow they managed.